Nov 11, 2025

Ripper Roo finally not depressed anymore, Marsh finally getting p----. What a time to be alive.

 

Nov 8, 2025

This post is a long time coming. I’ve been wanting to make it since September but I wanted to wait long enough to make sure that this isn’t just a fluke as so many of my better days seemingly were. Some people may be wondering why I’m making this post or why it’s important. Depression and other mental illnesses are so synonymous with me at this point that they are still being used against me as recently as yesterday despite me rarely ever making posts about these topics anymore. So I figured if I made all those posts in the past documenting my depression, I might as well also post that I’ve conquered it to close this entire chapter.

I know people are still gonna bring it up. I know people are still gonna use it against me. I know people are still gonna say I’m having a mental breakdown every time I say or do something they disagree with. That’s okay because none of that offends me and it never did. I brought up all those things about my personal life knowing people would pick it apart because I can handle it, and I wanted to see what kind of people would use it against me. It always says so much more about them than it does about me. That also goes for the people who tried to seem helpful but were actually condescending.

I know I’m not always gonna be happy, I don’t expect to be. I still have bad days every now and then. I still have days where I’m irritated and angry, but that’s normal. Those are nothing compared to the wars I was fighting in my head daily for the vast majority of my life. There’s a lot of bad things that happened in my life that I never talked about here. I never really went in depth and talked about how horrible things were truly getting. What I will say is I was fighting off suicidal thoughts all day every day for years and years. There were many times where I got way too close to just ending it all. The amount of self-hatred I had and the dark depths I fell to are almost impossible to quantify.

Now I love myself. Now I am spreading light to others in my life. I never think about killing myself anymore. And for the first time in forever, I feel good. It’s been this way ever since September. I haven’t felt depressed at all. I don’t even know what it was about that month, but it was when I truly transformed. This didn’t happen overnight though. It’s the culmination of the personal journey I’ve been on since 2022 to finally fix my mind. Things were getting so bad I knew I had to make a change or else I was gonna end up dead.

I gotta shout out the gym. I’ve been working out for most of my life, and that’s one thing that stopped me from going completely insane. But it was never enough to get rid of my depression. I had to get real help. Since 2022, I’ve been on that journey of getting real help. Not only was it getting therapy and finally finding the right medicine for me, but it was also confronting all the demons and fears in my mind head on. It was being patient enough to take baby steps towards my goals. It was subtly hammering positive ideas into my head daily over long periods of time. It was meditation, it was authenticity, it was being honest with myself and others. It was realizing that I’m not as weak and worthless as I thought I was, it was realizing that I actually do matter and that I actually do change people’s lives. It was making people laugh when I couldn’t feel happiness. It was being there for people when I felt alone. It was learning how to be there for myself. It was unlearning limiting and negative beliefs.

I could go on and on, but I think I’ll stop here. There’s a lot of things I didn’t say. This post is not to gain sympathy or attention. I don’t need or want people to treat me differently because of this. It’s to finally close this chapter of mental illness. I know there will probably still be days I make sad posts or fall back into my old ways occasionally, but I have a great foundation where I can seemingly bounce back from anything now. This is to show anyone who’s reading this that they can make it through the darkest depths if they want to. I’m living proof that the darkness can be conquered. Thank you to everyone who was ever there for me and thank you for reading.

 

Nov 11, 2025

I'm proud of you Marsh. You're no longer a consistent Cardi B/Nicki Minaj masturbator. You have levelled up, Pedro.

 

Nov 11, 2025

It's Ese Fall