Jun 29, 2021

Amazing thread. It’s wild actually reading Em’s lyrics and just seeing how he is able to craft words and syllables together. Sometimes when you just hear them without seeing them it sounds like gibberish, but honestly it’s all very coherent and clever. These lists are things no other person can do (maybe except Tech and Logic). Bravo to Em. This thread honestly makes me appreciate No Favors even more. I hope people start to realize how classic his verse is. It’s always sounded like he really channels his inner SSLP.

 

Jun 29, 2021

Eminem is known for crafting some of the most intricate and complex lists of objects and people in all of music. I've attempted to compile all of Eminem's most hard-hitting lists and rank them in order of skill, creativity, and overall cultural impact. I probably did miss some, as I focused more closely on Eminem's 2010- catalog where he truly began to embrace his knack for list-making. Below I will share the excerpts from the songs featuring the lists and give a brief justification for their placements on my tier list. Enjoy!

S Tier

No Favors
And f--- Ann Coulter with a Klan poster
With a lamp post, door handle, shutter
A d--- bolt cutter, a sandal, a can opener
A candle, rubber, piano, a flannel, sucker
Some hand soap, butter, a banjo and manhole cover

While not his first foray into lists, this one is striking because it was the first time people started to notice he had this hidden talent. Big Sean's highly anticipated album release in 2017 put ears on Em that may not have paid attention otherwise, and this expose of things he would like to insert into Ann Coulter really made quite the splash at the time, so much so that he had to apologize for his verse later that year on Walk on Water. A phenomenal list.

Not Alike
None come close to skunk, bug, soldier
Tongue, shrub, shoulder, one month older
Sponge, mug, folder, nun, rug, holster
Lug nut, coaster, lung, jug, roaster
Young Thug poster, unplugged toaster

When Kamikaze dropped, this MGK diss track caught the ear of many who were blown away by his ability to string together absolutely incoherent nonsense at impressive lengths. Since this list is featured on such a scathing track, it feels very fierce even when he is talking about lungs and toasters. Of course, this list culminates in declaring none of these things have anything in common, just like MGK and Eminem. Well played and extremely clever.

A Tier

Right For Me
Got a bazooka, a shotgun, a Ruger, a Glock, and a nuke
And a Rottweiler too, and I'm not in the mood, so

The box of reusable latex gloves and the socks and the shoes
That were placed next to Veronica's boobs
And the paycheck stubs that were stuffed in the glove box
In a blue Honda with used condoms were clues

After I strapped a duffel bag to my back
And stuffed a massive punchin' bag in it
And an elastic bungee strap, rubber, plaster, a thumb tack
And a piece of plastic bubble wrap
Went spastic and f---in' snapped

While juggling waffles, bacon
A f---in' McDonalds egg and cheese sausage bagel finagled it

Wow. Nearly half of this song is just barely comprehensible lists of unrelated things, with no clear objective at all. Still, this offering from Shady XV marked a turning point in Eminem's career where he actually forgot how to flow over a beat for a solid few years. Maybe the exhaustion from crafting his magnum opus MMLP2 really took its toll. In any case, this one boggles the mind for its sheer senselessness. The image of Eminem juggling and finagling fast food breakfast items is forever imprinted in my brain.

Brainless
Take some inventory: in this gourd there's a Ford engine
Door hinge, syringe, an orange, an extension cord, and a ninja sword
Not to mention four linchpins, an astringent stored
Ironin' board, a bench, a wrench, a ore winch, an attention whor-
Everything but a brain

While not the earliest list on this list, it was the longest list to date when it dropped on one of MMLP2's absolute highlights in 2013. The gourd within his brain is just chock full of the most random and suspicious items. A very specific number of linchpins... an ironing board... just incredible. Where does he come up with this stuff? Not to mention him famously flexing his ability to rhyme the word orange. A high quality list indeed.

B Tier

Shady XV
Air Maxes in my closet, preposterous Nikes made out of ostrich
And the cross stitching is a cross mixing
Of a rhinoceros, possum skin, giraffe and a dolphin
Fin, cotton Dockers, OshKoshes, drop crotches
Swatch watches and sneakers match with the parkas

The f--- is he talkin about? Why do I need to know about the cross-stitching of his animal murder Nikes? He also has some watches and parkas in his closet to boot. Very relevant and useful to know. If anybody asks what items are in Marshall's closet, we can refer them to this handy list. Another great example of Eminem's career-defining offbeat ramble rap from the XV and Southpaw era.

C Tier

Hello, Good Morning
I’m more like Fogell, McLovin’, McDonald's McMuffin
Breakfast burritos, Fritos, Cheetos, Doritos, Tostitos

2010 was a simpler time. While there are only about 6 items on this list, it was very satisfying to hear our great King of Rap rhyme together a bunch of chip flavors. While the context is meant to be degrading (This list precedes the punchline "That'll be the only thing I feed hoes"), I actually fantasize about Marshall feeding me McMuffins and snacks very intimately. These are all things that I like.

I'm On Everything
Then I enter the front of the K-Mart shopping center
With a coupon book and a hundred and ten bucks
And a bunch of change, and a wife beater with a mustard stain

This list from 2011 is even shorter, but it perfectly encapsulates Eminem's trailer trash ethos of the time, prominent in memorable songs like "Throw It Up" and "Roman's Revenge". Here, Eminem is LARPing as a poor person, which I would say hasn't aged well but it wasn't actually as revolutionary as perhaps he had hoped even when it was new. A decent list for posterity but not much else to see here.

D Tier

Offended
In the Caddy armrest, I'm imaginin' objects
So I'm battin' cobwebs from a daddy longleg
In Hamtramck
Got the panoramic camera
Xanax, a banana hammock and a Santa hat

Hot off the heels of No Favors, expectations were high for some immaculately-constructed lists to appear on Revival, but unfortunately the album is almost entirely absent of them. This is the most notable example and features a measly 5 items that are rather sloppily strung together, if I have to be honest. Name dropping Xanax is 2017 was very cool, so it is good that Marshall made a small attempt to cater to a younger audience.

Campaign Speech
Born with the endorphins of a pathetic orphan
Endless source and reservoir
Of extension cords in dresser drawers
And deadbolts on the bedroom doors
And sexual torture kits kept in a separate storage bin

Not much to say here. 2016 was obviously an off-year for our champ of list-making, as this rhyme pattern and flow come off as a discount Brainless list. Extension cords again? Storage bin/bin for storage? There are millions of objects in our world so why must we retread the same objects ad nauseum?

'Til I Collapse
I got a list, here's the order of my list that it's in
It goes Reggie, Jay-Z, Tupac and Biggie
Andre from Outkast, Jada, Kurupt, Nas and then me

When people compare vintage and modern Em, there is always the discussion that he became more technical and complex with metaphors as he grew older. I believe you could say the same for list-making, since Em actually explains to us that he about to list of his favorite rappers, then simply proceeds to do so. Very straightforward, no subtext, just a good old fashioned list. While this may be one of Eminem's best songs, and is one of the most highly referenced lyrics when it people discuss Em's personal opinions, I don't think it is necessarily creative enough to rank any higher than this.

E Tier

Yah Yah
Now here's to LL, Big L and Del
K-Solo, Treach, and G Rap
DJ Polo, Tony D, ODB, Moe Dee, Run-DMC
Ed O.G. , and EPMD, D.O.C., Ice-T, Evil Dee
King Tee, UTFO, and Schoolly D, PE, and BDP
YZ and Chi-Ali, Rakim and Eric B., they were like my therapy
From B.I.G. and Paris, Three Times Dope, and some we'll never see, and PRT
N.W.A and Eazy-E, and D-R-E was like my GPS

Uhhhh, so this is just the 'Til I Collapse list but taken to the opposite extreme. It is far too long and ends up sounding like he is rapping in an entirely different language after awhile. It is a list of rappers Eminem respects, but because it interrupts an otherwise very solid verse, and lasts all the way until the end of the verse, it prematurely crushes the momentum and energy in his delivery and sadly makes you stop caring long before he is finished listing off elderly black men.

F Tier

Zeus
R.I.P. Laquan McDonald, Trayvon, and Breonna
Atatiana, Rayshard, and Dominique
Eric Garner and Rodney King

While Eminem obviously had good intentions, there is something distasteful about crafting rhymes that purely string together names of the recently deceased. Especially since there already exists a stigma of African-American sounding names being subject to mockery by white people based on the way they sound, it might actually be unintentionally racist to use these names as the entire foundation of this rhyme pattern. Oopsie!

Chemical Warfare
Got an axe in the duffel bag, couple of f--s,
Stuffed in the backseat, muzzled n gagged,
Wrapped in bubble wrap, two lesbians ahh,
Couple hustler mags, now grab the pez dispenser,
Fill it up to the max, with muscle relaxers

Homophobic edgelord nonsense. One of the last lists I need to read is what marginalized people Eminem is planning to murder and how he plans to do it. Very sick and deranged!!