I'm not trying to be mean, but like...the whole song, basically. You try to fit too many words into each bar and it sounds like you're trying to make the beat follow your flow instead of making your flow follow the beat. It ends up feeling like you're kinda just talking over the beat.
Stevie's rapping at like half the speed you are and it fits the instrumental much better. There's nothing wrong with rapping slowly, and it would sound much more natural on a song like this. Turn each bar you write into two bars and it won't sound like you're trying to cram too many words in.
well I think it's less the number of words and more the number of syllables—it might not need to be exactly half as many, but I'd just take a slower, more-laid back approach to it
