Jan 3, 2018

(If you like this song, check out the rest of the EP here: )

 

Jan 3, 2018

completely different from what I expected when I saw a thread title

 

Jan 3, 2018

rt

 

Jan 3, 2018

this was posted in "creative" section. I just wanted to tell him if he didn't succeed in 5 attempts he should be more creative haha

 

Jan 3, 2018

ded

 

Jan 3, 2018

 

Jan 3, 2018

bait much

 

Jan 3, 2018

murder attempt number 5

I woke up in 6 am, earlier than usual so I could prepare myself mentally for this courageous attempt to leave this planet. Once I woke up I got out of bed and did some stretching and light workout to shock my muscles and prepare my body for it's inevitable demise. Workout consisted of 2 sets of push ups (15 reps) and stomach crunches. I can do a thousand of them,but I didn't feel the need to go that far so I did 100 of them. Once I finished my light workout I went to my living room, took my Franz Schubert LP and it played Piano Trio number 2. One of my favorite works of his. It was greatly calming, something I desperately needed. I went to the bathroom, did my usual morning hygiene . After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. After that I had a light breakfast, cereals, the organic corn cereals, not the usual fruit loops because they are made of unhealthy sugar and industrial colouring . I wanted to keep my body as clean as possible. After I finished my cereals I had a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice. I felt the need to take must needed vitamin c. There are many benefits of Vitamin C, one is to keep my skin as fresh as possible once I abandon this Earth.

Finally, the time has come.
I took a rope, hung it by a pillar in my living room, I positioned myself so I can take one last look at the city in front of my eyes. Millions of souls drifting into unknown, grasping for success in this world ruled by evil waiting for it to be ended by it's destructive greed for materialism. The world has changed, the feel of sole existance to make the world a place where our future generations can thrive is gone. Here I am, one of the last people of my generation that sees what's wrong with today's world ready to take away my own life in search for unknown.

I put my rope around my neck and pushed the chair I was standing on. The rope was too light. I failed.
Once again, death keeps to elude me. But my quest is not over. I will find the way.No matter how many more time it takes.

 

Jan 3, 2018

wat

 

Jan 4, 2018

I'm guessing no one listened to the song.

 

Jan 4, 2018

 

Jan 4, 2018

@Somasu aight listened to the track a few times.

the beat was decent, but it kinda got boring. wavy s--- tho overall

lyrically, its definitely f---ing abstract. liked some lines in the first verse like:

"We keep the land disowned, I’m talking about the holy ghost, That Satan coiled and used". just sounded dope as f---.

and i also liked the line "I lock myself in the heavens, we unknow ourselves in cavern". could read to some as fake deep, but it paints a really interesting image in my mind.

but honestly, some of the lyrics around the middle kinda rubbed me the wrong way, like "This is now my fault, k--- it now and resolve". idk it just kinda comes off a bit fake deep to me personally

now on to delivery. im not f---ing with the singing tbch. i can tell you put work into the vocals on here, but overall its just not sitting well with me. the melody is too basic and it doesnt really mfit the beat all that well imo. the quiter subdued vocals are actually pretty nice, but when you get louder and go for the higher notes it kinda falls apart imo.

its not that the song is bad tho, overall. its actually pretty vibey and i like parts of it. its just that as a total package, its not impressing me. sound quality could also be improved a bit.

try doing some more BONES-esque vocals (the more creepy and subdued, raspy whisper raps he does alot on his s---) i think that would match this beat alot better and give off a stronger vibe.

there's potential in this, but its gonna take a some more work for you to really take it to that next level imo.

 

Jan 4, 2018

thanks a lot for the reply bro! Just so i can understand fully, what was it about the louder and higher notes did you not like?

 

Jan 4, 2018

Idk it just felt bad in my ears. I think im just not all the way into your singing when you reach up into the higher register. that’s just me though

 

Jan 4, 2018

Did you feel it was out of pitch? I was singing in my higher register the whole time, But I belted some parts.

 

Jan 4, 2018

At some parts, yes.

 

Jan 4, 2018

which parts?

 

Jan 4, 2018

Idk how to describe it lol its the background vocal melody that kinda sounds falsetto-ish

 

Jan 4, 2018

I think just in general, the vocal is too raw and unpolished. and some of the more “yelpy” parts go off tune a bit.

 

Jan 4, 2018

By raw do you mean not mixed properly? I recorded this in a studio but I don’t think the engineer did the best job with mixing.

The background melody not the belted parts?

Sorry I keep asking questions it’s just so I know what to keep in mind for next time.