Jul 25, 2015 Advisory: This was a story I created around a month ago, before Southpaw was released, and I figured I would bring it to this website and let you guys enjoy it. For another interesting fact-finding read, check out my thread about what really happened to Eminem during his hiatus; https://forum.sectioneighty.com/the-real-story-of-eminem-post-hiatus.t38668/#post-990179 So I was watching the trailers to Southpaw this entire time thinking that the lovable producer, who happens to be featured in the Hip Hop duos of PRHyme and Gangstarr, DJ Premier, had a part in the movie . As pointed out by my other comrades and associates from this illustrious website HipHopShelter, and then later confirmed via Celebrity DNA testing results on the cast listings for this blockbuster movie (featuring the sexy Jake Gyllenhaal), the token black guy of this boxing film happens to be played by Forest Whitaker (that guy in all the cop shows). Now I know you're probably thinking two things. How the h--- did I think this was DJ Premier? And more importantly, why have I never noticed that these two guys were the same person? (Observe the said sexy Jake Gyllenhaal shown above) As you may or may not know, Forest Whitaker is an American actor most notably famous for his roles on daytime television on The Shield and the Emmy award winningER. (But does he lift?) I was quickly taken back by this evidence, seemingly confirmed the unthinkable. Was I really that blind the whole time? Had I crossed over into the world of the unseen or was my mind playing tricks on me upon eating another ear of corn produced and sold from the palm of the man? You guys know me, and I won't settle for that next-level, government-fed BS. Upon the conclusion of several days of strenuous research in which I didn't use the bathroom by using an actual toilet for upwards of 72 hours, I had dove deep into the world wide web to find the facts about both DJ Premier and Forest Whitaker. I was horrified to discover via an undisclosed website (Wikipedia), information that subsequently detailed the claim that these two dark skinned gentlemen are in fact two different people. But hold up. If DJ Premier, real name Christopher Edward Martin (haha yeah right FBI), and Forest Whitaker are in fact two different people...how do you explain this uncanny resemblance?! (You're seeing the truth now, aren't you? It's okay, I was almost fooled as well) Quite frankly, it's just too much to be a coincidence. Notice the roundness of their noses, the curvature of the lips. Even the facial hair displayed is almost blatant replicas of eachother. How did this get past the illuminati? Who gave this travesty S4 level clearance? Whoever it was, I guarantee he is soiling his bloomers sitting in a rundown pedo van with a latino named Django right by his side headed straight for a tar pit in Tijuana , that's for sure. But looks are looks, right? I mean...the human eyes succumbs to the illusion of sight much like we ourselves do for our entire lives. Our actions and thoughts are so convoluted and controlled by the government that we can't even take our own vision for truth anymore. We are lying to ourselves without realizing it. But I dug deeper. I was discontent with allowing myself to constantly doubt the truth behind the whole thing. My eyes didn't lie to me from the beginning, and I don't plan on casting them away now. There was more to this entire thing and I was determined to prove it. DJ Premier's birthday is in the year 1966. Forest Whitaker? 1961. Yep, that's three 6's, as if it couldn't be any more obvious from the start. Their ages are listed as 49 and 53 (totally implausible, but let's play along for a bit)...that puts them at 4 years of difference. Yeah, you heard that right...four. That four. Royce Da 5'9" is a known associate of both DJ Premier and Eminem (who produced the soundtrack for this movie). Guess how many of their past four projects both Eminem and Royce have released? There's no getting around it: four. DJ Premier was a known mathemetician during his years as Turntable University. Upon applying some high level mathmatical formulas and algebra (discovered and implemented by Premier himself), we can conclude that four multiplied by six is 24. 24 minus two (the two men I am discussing) is 22. 22 divded by 2 again for the amount of Shady Records projects that Royce had played a part in this year, and what do you get? 11. What could this possibly mean? After all of this research, all of these countless hours spent ignoring my friends and family in which I instead opted to search for a truth, an end, a means of closure for this story-- and I was going to come up short? Failing to gather anything more than a simple number that I learned to count to in kindergarten? This was definitely not kindergarten anymore and I knew it. Well, that's when it hit me. Just like my kindergarten teacher used to tell me....'just count!' The original problem at hand....the fact that DJ Premier and Forest Whitaker were the same people...there had to be an undeniable connection...a strand of information falling into place, an error, a code of corrupt data that had fallen through the grasp of the Matrix. Thankfully, the Southpaw Soundtrack had leaked, and the means to achieve by goal had arrived. Just like my teacher had told me, I counted...and there it was, in the flesh, officially on the CD track listing itself....number 11. Mode. PRHyme. The bridge had been gapped. DJ Premier is Forest Whitaker.
Jul 25, 2015 :austinbottomline: they couldn't fool ol' Stone Cold, you can bet yer a--- on that! :austinsmile:
