Dec 15, 2017

Sooooooo, here's what I have to say about REVIVAL.

3-4 years after the MMLP2 and Shady XV, we are given a weak Recovery part 2 (50% at least is Recovery-ish), mixed with hints at the MMLP2 and a little bit of Relapse.
Recipe : take the 3 post-hiatus Eminem albums, combine their biggest flaws, and promote on every building walls of Detroit : here's REVIVAL ! "Take as often as needed" .. No thanks...

I rate it a kind 5/10, saving these 5 points because Em delivers so many different flows and he adresses serious, personal matters (current politics, near-death-experience, Kim-Hailie-Proof...).

"Chloraseptic" is boring to me because I don't want Em to make music like the mumbling rappers he's making fun of. That's definitely the kind of crappy "new" music that would make Em sound like a dinosaur.

Credits (and f---s) given to : "Bad Husband" (that Kim song definitely has some replay value to me, Em spitting his guts out is godlike), "Castle" (best song along with "Believe", I guess), "Arose" (interesting loop, serious matter.. OK for me, good old Eminem walking the edge of the cliff... brilliant), "Offended", "Framed" and "Heat" : I like the flows, but the instrumentals should have been much better, that's really too bad (see weak spot #3 below). Oh, and "Untouchable" does have a real good second part.

However, this album is plagued by 3 major weak spots, presented in order of importance :

1/ The pop-rock songs used for the chorus ("Remind Me" : "I love rock n roll", "In Your Head" : "Zombie") can be deemed as "vintage" if you are a 12 year-old who doesn't know what the Berlin wall is.
It is obvious that Rick Rubin and the others vultures"producers" intent to use songs like these ones in order to recycle that pop-rock-rap s--- we all loathe, especially on a Eminem album.
Let's be clear, I loved samples like "Dream On" for "Sing For The Moment" or even "Time of The Season" for "Rhyme Of Reason" ("Dream On" and "Time Of The Season" are excellent songs) because they helped create listenable (and enjoyable!) crossover songs that matched perfectly with Em style. Nevertheless with Revival, all they did was copy and paste these old washed-up pop radio songs. No excuses. These "songs" make the new Eminem album sound like a d--- karaoke compilation. Musically speaking, it's a nightmare. Now I'm peeing myself, and it ain't age.

2/ Modern pop-a--- songs really lack replay value, if they're not totally unlistenable.
Songs like "River", "Nowhere Fast" would fit well on a Justin Bieber album, but I ain't no "belieber" and you ain't neither.
"Like Home" lacks replay value and would be perfect if played in the alleys of g.d. Disneyland.
"Tragic Endings" is clearly Recovery part 2-like... I'm a fan of Skylar Grey's voice though. This song should (could ?) be the only pop feature allowed on that album.
"Need Me" is a filler. No comment, useless song.
The Beyoncé song "Walk On Water" hosts beautiful content and subject matter but the chorus is so cheesy (I walk on water, but only when it's freezing cuz I ain't no Jesus... seriously, bro ??).
God this is so depressing.

3/ And now here's the biggest weak spot of that CD : the overall production, most of the instrumentals, and the mixing, lack consistency. It's just a bunch of songs produced by too many persons... This album is noisy, polluted, heavy, and sounds like a tiny room packed with people talking out loud at each other. There isn't any coherence, any creation, any story on that album, or any concept watsoever (unlike The Eminem Show for example, which was brilliant). Everybody just wants to produce a couple of cheap eminem songs and get the maximum amount of money from a painless effort. No pain no gain? Apparently not anymore. These are sick times we're living, my friends.
To conclude, these ruined instrumentals appear to be the biggest part of my regrets about this album. Ironically, the song "Believe" certainly has the best instrumental of this album, also it's produced by Eminem, and co-written by Luis Resto, a longtime collaborator... Thus, for the 100th time, I say Em's writing needs more Em's production. I know it's more work involved, but it's clearly worth it... if you care more about the fans, and less about the 10-20 year-old pop listeners and money...

The global listening is very frustrating because Em still delivers real good flows, that's why I don't think Revival is mediocre because Em is done, oh no. The main reason lies on the very poor musicality of the album. The writing is also average. Relapse and MMLP2 were far better. I think some other projects must have been scrapped before these money-makers came out with Revival. What a disappointment, and what a waste.

Em is still an insane rapper. He needs to produce HIS music with people who actually know how to get it well done.
These lame-a--- producers think the public will love their s---. Well, for a degenerate brainless Bieber or Gomez fan, oh yeah, that will do. For a 31 year-old bumping 80's / 90's / 00's hip-hop gems that were spat way before Bieber and Sheeran were pissed in their mothers wombs, that will definitely not do !

I'm "100% done" with reviews.
I quit.
"s--- I don't know".

And now... personal message for M. Marshall Mathers :

Mr Marshall Mathers, with all the love and respect from me you've garnered, all over the years... I really wish you'd get to read this review.
I love you, man. You are a legend... as long as you don't f--- things up with songs that definitely aren't YOU. I've been listening to you ever since I was a teenager. But I would have hated you back then if you had put the Destiny's Child or Britney on your first albums. Rise up, Marshall.

Love,
Don.